Saturday, December 22, 2012

Prime Italian

Few things in life upset me more than an unsatisfying meal. An unsatisfying meal with a ridiculous price tag downright pisses me off. I came to Prime Italian with the highest of expectations due to some pretty stellar reviews from fellow Yelpers as well as word of mouth. I am always a bit skeptical of these SoBe "hot spots" since my last negative (and damn pricy too!) experience at Barton G. After our dining experience @ Prime we are swearing off the big flashy names for a while. For clarification, I was expecting to drop a pretty penny here (my hubby's 30th) so the price-tag wasn't a surprise or what upset me. The underwhelming food and mediocre service did that all on its own.

The place is gorgeous - decor is impeccable. Big beautiful bar, brick walls, nice outside area. I made a reservation via OpenTable and received a call that morning to confirm. I spoke with the hostess and informed her it was my husband's birthday and I wanted a candle on the dessert but no singing. Hostess greets me with "hi, happy birthday!" Poor thing.

We sat inside. Our server was very short and borderline rude, but whatever, that I expected from all the reviews. We received some garlic bread to start, ordered fried mozzarella and the infamous Kobe meatball with sausage marinara as recommended.

*WARNING: These pics suck! The servers don't give you 4 seconds to look at your food before they start dissecting it to serve it.

Garlic Bread with Marinara (pardon the color, it was actually red.) 

The garlic bread was tasty but super greasy. You can feel the grease drip down your throat as you chew. My husband said "this bread should come with gloves" which says it all. We each had a piece and were kinda grossed out.

Fried Mozzarella
The mozzarella was tasty but average. I expected fresh mozzarella with some sort of magical flavor but this tasted like something you buy at Costco and refry at home. Nothing special. My husband said the tomatoes were good.

Kobe Meatball - unable to appreciate it via pic since the server went right it

The meatball was tasty, but not the explosion of flavor I was expecting. Isn't Kobe beef supposed to be amazing? This was an average meatball. In fact, I would call it less than average. If it wasn't for the ricotta and the sausage marinara this would've been pretty depressing. Maybe people built it up too much for me.

BTW - Portions are massive! I would've been fine just eating the appetizers (a growing baby/uterus cramps your stomach space!) but we ordered a 12 oz filet mignon with garlic herb butter, a side of sautéed spinach and the truffled Mac n cheese. The meat was cooked perfectly and the flavor on the char outside was pretty damn delicious. The garlic butter was also very good, flavorful. The Mac n cheese was flavorful but insanely greasy (leftovers left a puddle of grease when reheated, so nasty) and the sautéed spinach was flavorless (mine is better I swear.)

12 oz Filet Mignon
Truffle Mac n' Cheese
Sauteed Spinach

 For dessert the birthday boy requested Nutella bread pudding which was a big ol' brick of dryness topped with a scoop of generic vanilla ice cream. Oh and the candle I requested, non-existent. Awesome.

Nutella Bread Pudding

A swift kick in the balls
We left disappointed, unsatisfied, and pissed about paying for food that did not meet our expectations. I guess the people who rave about this place frequent Olive Garden, Macaroni Grill and maybe even Chili's.

Side note: Throughout the meal our waiter seemed rushed and was short with us. I don't want you to be my BFF but at least be personable. Whatever.

I will not be returning nor will I be recommending this place to anyone. In fact, this will probably be one of those places you tell people not to go to when they ask you for a foodie recommendation on the beach.

Prime Italian
101 Ocean Dr
Miami Beach, FL 33139
(305) 695-8484

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